Cartoon Bollocks in the Black Hole of Calcutta

Today was a mixture of very very good and very very bad. This morning I was woken by the landlords' latest weapon in the fight to make my life a misery: blokes wanting to change my windows. Which seemed fine to me as they were, I had a door and a window and they both opened and closed, which is all one really wants in a ventilation system.

I then spent the next couple of hours wearing two jumpers while the window men knocked out most of my back wall:

Exposed to the elements, I was. Brave, I was. They then came trotting round the corner with...double doors. Incensed, I was. I can't have double doors in my flat, that would mean I had NO windows at all, what the hell am I meant to do in the summer? I can't go off to bed and leave the door wide open, I'll hard boil. Grrrr! If anyone of a legal persuasion knows what I can do about this, do please shout...

(As an aside, note my little bin, sitting majestically and pointlessly in the middle of the garden.)

The day improved dramatically, however, after I met Canimal (who now lives in London, how marvellous!) to see Beowulf at the iMax. Which is a fab movie in 3D! It would probably be a bit shite in an ordinary cinema but watching monsters cavorting off the screen and Angelina's perfect form swaying about (apparently that's really her figure, the lucky cow) is rather spectacular in multi-dimensional glory.

I think what we both took away from the experience (aside from a splitting headache) was an impression of gore and bollocks. The gore was satisfying, if revolting, but the bollocks never really appeared, they were merely promised to us.

Beowulf needs less excuse than Pamela Anderson to strip off, you see, and spends an awful lot of the film flipping open his buckles provocatively. And then, of course, there's the Austin Powers strategically-placed-objects scene when he decides to fight the monster in the nud. As you do.

Still, it was entertaining and I am gazing longingly at the Tim Burton season, hoping that when Cani said she'd happily go see someone filing papers if it was in 3D, she meant it. She's in the same city as me now, she's doomed :)