Leg it, Jeff!

A friend of mine was on the Tube the other day and saw a young lady munching on a bag of Hula Hoops. Only, as the warnings about high salt intake and healthy eating had obviously sunk in, before she ate each one, she wiped it with a tissue.

As a result, and after careful consideration, we at the office have decided to remake the movie 28 Days Later featuring rabid intellectuals as the zombies, chasing down the chavs and the really stupid people (the ones who ought to have licences before they're allowed to breed), confusing them with fractions and then beating them into submission with copies of Dickens. Only it won’t be a fair fight....

"No, Jeff, no, don’t run towards them!"