Parental unit

Have just been treated to a whirlwind visit from my mother. She blocked the road, caused a traffic jam, parked across someone's drive, ferretted about my flat, rearranged things I was perfectly happy with, unpacked stuff in places I didn't want it, attached jewellery to me that she didn't want, forced two electric fans on me when I wasn't aware I needed one, inspected my shoes, disliked my cappucino, searched my fridge in case she wanted anything, rifled through my wardrobe and then went home again.

Such is a typical visit from my mother.

And you wonder why I'm the way I am!

I have a new dog!

OK that's sort of a dirty great lie...sort of. For I *do* have a new dog, but he isn't mine. Well he is. But he's not.

Meet Skye, new addition to my friend (and favourite freelancer) Lisa's family and one of the most expressive and cutest dogs ever born. He even has his own myspace page to record his antics, through which I have been adopted as his Internet Person.

This means I have cunningly claimed ownership of his intermaweb activities and can begin shaping him into a virtual phenomenon, as he so deserves to be. Just you have a look at his photo album, I defy you to disagree!

Herewith an exerpt from his blog, describing a day in the life of an Amusing Dog (Upon Reaching Puppy School and Failing to Comply):

My Person was a bit embarrassed because all the other Puppies Came and Sat and Lay Down as soon as their People called them. I ignored my Person and went and jumped on everyone else instead. Everyone offered my Person bits of their delicacies in case they worked better than the Treats she brought for me, but I still refused to Come, which meant I wouldn't Sit and I certainly wouldn't Lie Down. One of the Labradors was very pleased, and ate all my Treats instead. Now my Person has to do Homework with me. She has to get me to Come and Sit and Lie Down. I'm being Very Good about doing this at home. But, of course, when I go to Puppy School next week I'll pretend I don't know what she's talking about.

So, in the interests of setting things going and introducing this bundle of hilarity to the world at large, here is my favourite snap of Skye, just begging to be given its very own caption...I hereby open this to the floor...

Grumpiness roolz ok

I wanted to share with you a book I'm reading, which I am (alarmingly) finding myself empathising with more and more with every turn of the page. It is called Grumpy Old Men and is a diary of irritation accumulated by one poor bad-tempered sod over the course of a year.

Everything in there annoys me too. I also think it's a crying shame they didn't ask my dad to contribute as he's been nadgy for two thirds of a century.

Anyhoo, here is a short except that made me snort with laughter in the middle of a District Line carriage this afternoon.

30 May
Heard a report from the Congo on the World Service this morning. The reporter was venturing out of the capital, Goma, in her car. 'It's too dangerous to venture far away from the city,' she said, 'so I turn the car around. To turn a whole nation around will be much harder.' What, turning the nation around is even harder than turning a car around? Extraordinary.

Your Monthly Cat

Bless the little bastard...

Exhaustion and other exciting descriptive words

I could probably sum up this post in three words, so I ought to, if only to prove that emo can be speedily summarised:

I'm bloody exhausted.

I do hate to ask if anyone was paying attention (well I don't, because I have a kinky enjoyment of knuckle rapping), but shame on you if you weren't. How do you keep up with Hollyoaks, for god's sake. Anyway! I've been doing this freelance song and dance for the best part of a month and I feel like the walking dead.

I can hear you all clamouring for front of house to hear about my current situation, I really can. It's a delightful little delusion and I will lynch the first person to ruin it. k? k. Anyway! I'm not going to oblige for two reasons:

1) I'm sworn to secrecy for reasons of inter-industry espionage
2) I feel very swanky saying that.

So this goes out to all you lovely people who've asked very genuine, very much appreciated questions about what I'm up to, which makes me smile a muchbit. The answer, in the most specific terms I'm allowed to manage, is: everything and nothing and no sleep!

But I do feel as if I'm steering right. And that makes me more happy than I can tell you.

Lollybloggings and the Grumbly Willock

It's finally here, the online story book you didn't know you were waiting for. A tale of love, high adventure and rainbow hairclips, starring what we're pretty sure will be coming soon to the sticker on a kid's lunchbox near you.

Yes, it's Lollybloggings and the Grumbly Willock, a tale in pictures created by myself and Laura. I've had precious little leisure time since wandering into the world of freelance and this, ladies and gents, is what I've been doing with it. Sensible? No. Worth it? Of course!

Let us know what you think, we're all for criticism. The Willock isn't though, he hates it.

Reaching the surface

Life gets away from you sometimes. You become a bad friend through lack of time management, by running and running without ever getting anywhere, by letting go of a dear friend's hand just when she needs you to hold on.

This artwork is Sysperia's impression of my avatar (and thus of me). For those who don't know the term, this is my virtual representation. I am privileged to have been included in her Most Beautiful collection, the idea of which is that beauty contests in Second Life are meaningless without including and evaluating a person's heart and mind alongside their (virtual) looks.

Avatars are soul-less creatures who tend to stare blankly into the middle distance, but in this image my eyes are deep and swimming, with all the weight of the world and the knowledge that is my burden.

I cannot make up for not having found enough time, I can't wish back the conversations we should have had, but I can do this one thing: tell everyone else what I already know.

As a daisy flourishes among thousands of blades of grass, so Sysperia Poppy rises above those around her - in every way. But especially within her art, and as a friend.

Syssy, I'm so sorry.

If anyone reading this would enjoy a window into their own soul, or even just to see or ask for some beautiful artwork with tough themes, please let me know or visit Syssy's gallery.