1. GI Joe is not a good movie. It's got a pleasing number of bangs and whistles, but a script written by a halfwit.
2. Burnt Sienna Miller (thank you Tim) has a club foot. Unless that's her "sexy walk".
3. Channing Tatum reacts to danger by looking like he's about to burst into tears. He's also as close to cross-eyed as dammit. And he looks like a potato. An emo potato.
4. Taglines are difficult to write. "When everyone else gives up... they don't." Really? 'Don't'? Is that honestly the only verb that sprang to mind? What about 'save the day', 'prevail', 'kick things while shouting a lot'? Just 'don't'? Isn't that a bit like a dog worrying a sheep?
5. Richmond Odeon has appalling sound quality. In addition, its staff are apt to scarper before you exit the movie, denying you whinging rights.
6. Blowing up Paris is fun under any circumstances.
7. The credits boasted that the movie had a Mold Department. You need a whole team of people to leave a mug under the sofa these days?
8. Lord n'Lady GaGa has a pee-pee. Which I did not find out from the movie, incidentally. An evening with Tim is nothing if not educational. I still love her though, my life would not be the same without Poker Face.