Friday, 7 August 2009

Insect Asylum

We are not amused. Somehow my flat, through no fault of its own, has become a haven for bugs of all shapes, sizes and backgrounds. A safe place to buzz and flap, without risk of discrimination.

Why me??

It started with a wasp and ends with a wasp. Wasp the former apparently sat on my head for the better part of a day (as the only time I ventured into the stickily hot outdoors was during the afternoon), only to be discovered at bedtime, when I ran my hand over my hair and was rewarded with an annoyed "BZZZZ -.-". I think I woke him up.

This time last year we had a slug problem in the garden - the little buggers kept coming up and over my window and then questing across the kitchen floor. Nothing there of interest, guys, turn back. That was pretty revolting, but I can't decide if it was better or worse than the insect asylum.

A couple of days ago, I walked into my flat to see a spider sitting on my anti-spider electrical device. The one that is supposed to emit a high pitched squealing that insects are unable to tolerate. The cheek of it! As Laura put it, it was much like a stubborn child saying: "Yeah, I really like this noise ANYWAY!! It's my favourite (nottalking)."

There was also an incident with a mosquito biting me in a place I would prefer not to have been visited by an insect, let alone bitten. That is all I shall say about that.

And last night, as I slumbered safe and warm in my bed, dreaming, no doubt, of cookies and cream, I rolled over onto a wasp that had decided to join me and got stung on the ankle.

That's it, I declare war.


Anonymous said...

You even drew them to my wedding dress. I was a creepy crawly climbing frame. In denial.

Ps I'm going to fuck up anything that stings my bestest -.-

Tim said...

If it's any consolation I just whacked officially the first spider of the year to scurry across my living room floor.

And the biggest I've seen in quite a while, too.

GHOSTY009 said...

should have called the post Insect-inside. You'll be glad to know i've de bugged the apt, and am prepared to end anything that bothers you. <3

watch*paint*dry said...

That damn mahoosive fly is still buzzing about here too. It is you isn't it?
I took myself for a head clearing walk last night because I had devised a plan to hunt the little buzzy bastard's sleeping place down and then saw myself in the mirror. There was no need for a fly sleepy place detection outfit now was there?
It has clearly driven me crazy. Again.

Shelly@Moonshine said...

I think this is a sign that you were some sort of evil leader of an insect clan in your former life. They vowed to continue the fight. Or perhaps you just need to call the bug guy? Ask him to bring a pizza on his way, kkthx