Newshound

I've been all around the bloody houses today - quite literally, at one point, when Google maps had me off traversing a council estate that didn't exist. And then sent me in a big loop in completely the wrong direction until a local chav took pity and turned me back round. All of this out in Cheam, a stupid place that took me almost two hours to commute to, though in total I travelled a paltry 9.7 miles. For shame!

But it was for good purpose, as I spent the morning freelancing at NewsQuest, which, for those who don't know (so, pretty much everyone not working in publishing, then), is the company that owns 300 of the local daily papers in the UK.

I was proofreading my own local paper! When this issue drops through the letterbox I am totally going to point at it and cackle maniacally. I might even do a little dance. I was also proofing news stories for Kingston, Wimbledon and various other local papers, and they even let me do the headlines. Fools, but generous, trusting fools. My favourite kind.

The best story of the day - I had to hide my chuckles from the earnest news team - was of a medal for bravery being awarded to a little old lady for her work during WWII. She protested that it really wasn't much, and the story then revealed that she was knocked over by a cow during her first week and spent a month in hospital with a broken leg.

I also got the giggles when someone called in to report a "serial urinator and defecator" who kept leaving little messages in their garden.

I've been doing a course with the London School of Journalism for a good long while now, what with one thing and another getting in the way (gold star to the person who sits me down long enough to do my next assignment), with the intention of slowly starting to infiltrate the local papers, handing in stories to be published.

Imagine my glee at being given this chance to meet the team, gather a few contacts and make my face known! My tutor will be awfully proud, assuming he remembers my name. And then I can be intrepid and Louis Lane-like, only in a very English manner - I am more likely to investigate wheely bins than wheeler dealers, frankly. Here's to living the dream.

p.s. Today's illustration of Queen Willow was brought to you by Kitty and her evol brain. Mind you, I DO look rather good in a crown, don't you think? Click here to see what spawned it.