I generally try to exercise a certain degree of discretion when choosing topics to blog because, let's face it, there's precious little jetsetting going on. In this case, however, I feel to err on the side of dull is justified, for this is an issue that needs addressing.On Sunday, the hydrowhatsituppydownythingers on my computer chair cracked in two and it launched me across the room, thus proving once and for all that chair gymnastics are not a good idea (I totally know that WillowZ is going to remind me of the time I couldn't work out how to plug my headphones in when she's finished reading this post, so I'm preempting that by reminding her of the time she broke Everything Electrical I Own).
Today, Staples delivered a new one to my office, necessitating a taxi ride home when my cunning plan to re-pack the pieces in a wheely suitcase and trundle home smugly proved unworkable due to its sheer size.
I got home in the end though, at which point the trouble began.
The instructions say that this chair can be built by one person. Really? REALLY? One person with how many limbs?
At various points during the construction process I used my knees, feet, elbows and head to hold things in position and I still ended up with sore hands from the alum key (alum? alan? alun? wtf?) and a worse temper than this morning. This photo was taken after discovering I'd put the arms on back to front and the following thought had gone through my mind:
"Fuck it, fuck it ALL TO HELL, I shall sit on boxes and type from my knees, I hate EVERYTHING, I don't even WANT a chair."
As you might have guessed from the fact I am typing right now, I did complete the job and am not sat cross-legged on the floor having a sulk (any more). I shall be away from the pc for the next hour or so, however, because I just reached under to adjust the height and discovered I put the lever bit on the wrong way round.
Le sigh.
9 comments:
Good job, Bob the Builder *thumbs up*
Good grief!
Um… That's all I have to say.
You people think I'm joking. ALL of that was true. Took me an hour to fix that bottom bit :/
OMG I thought that photo was the broken chair when I started reading! I certainly hope that you did not hurt your 'up arrow' operating finger in such a way that it will not heal properly before our April wresting match. Seriously. That would be tragic.
Nope, I really am THAT bad. Please adopt me and do everything for me :(
Don't you worry about my Up Finger, I've got it a little sweatband and a running shoe and am giving it daily exercise to a Rocky soundtrack.
I did *not* break everything! I was simply doing Computer Chair Olympics and headbutted, or footbutted your DVD player!!!
But... I didn't make a mess of your computer chair, did I? Like *someone* did
*glares*
To be entirely fair to you, sis, it wasn't even the same chair, merely poetic (sort of) licence.
But it's still a good point: Chair Olympics DOES do people a mischief.
Didn't do ME a mischief :D
It amused me greatly, hungover chair olympics FTW!
You can come to mine and do it, if you like, but the skiddy floor and dog might make for dangerous obstacles :/
Dude, your house it more interesting to be left alone in than my flat. You had to resort to Chair Olympics before you died of boredom, I'd have cute baby to fuss over and a dog to piss myself laughing at. I <3 Jakey.
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