Thoughts from a Train

I'm back home from my lovely, cosy Christmas with the parents, having dragged two suitcases and a large bag across the country despite the ill will of every other passenger on the train (Christmas spirit doesn't take long to dissolve, it would seem).

I had the cunning idea to pack a second suitcase inside the one I was taking with me, thus giving myself double the carrying power on the return trip. However, as usual I underestimated the sheer volume: the Christmas day haul and the results of three consecutive days out in the sales (they started on Boxing Day this year - did you know that the Lakeside House of Fraser took £1000 a minute during the first hour?). I had to add another giant carrier bag to the already precarious equation.

None of this was helped by the train guard announcing I would have to be 4 carriages up if I wanted to clamber off at Clapham, which apparently has a stunted platform - getting everything I was carrying down those thin aisles was an act of sheer will.

And even now there's a huge box of stuff back at home in Bournemouth that I just couldn't manage.

My Christmas pile filled three boxes, not least because my stocking has slowly become a sack over the years and every item on my Christmas list was huge. Highlights of the treasure pile include Battlestar Galactica season 3, a chocolate fountain, a George Foreman grill in pink (how girly is that!), three Jeremy Clarkson books, plenty of jewellery, bathroom scales, a stepper, a posh meetings folder and a number of Neal's Yard gift sets. And, of course, my main present: a swanky professional camera.

My sale items were no less numerous:

1) 2 pairs shoes
2) 2 pairs trousers
3) 5 skirts
4) 1 dress
5) 1 handbag
6) 8 tops
7) 2 necklaces
8) 1 pair earrings
9) 1 handbag
10) 3 DVDs (Bettie Page, Shaun of the Dead and Miami Vice)
11) 1 DVD box set (the complete works of Eddie Izzard for £12 - I almost fainted)
12) 1 calendar (of the movie 300 - what could be better than all those nekked tummies advertising the year?)

As you can see, Mum and I are frighteningly efficient in the sales - not a single item on that list was frivolous or won't be used.

Here, for example, are my beautiful shoes.

Anyway, I must toddle off to start the unpacking marathon, as I stupidly decided that I was not allowed to put anything away without throwing out old stuff to make way for it. I hate my brain.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Sale!